Sunday, March 28, 2004
This is interesting. I read this in one of the websites I visit once in a while...
"Forget about the professor, forget about the syllabus, forget about the discussion - gentlemen, the key to having a good class is finding yourself a focus girl.
Wondering what a focus girl is? Well, chances are you already know.
In every class you've ever had, there's always been that one young lady who really catches your eye, a perfect angel in your lecture hell. Sometimes she's strikingly beautiful, sometimes she reminds you of a different person and sometimes she's just got a unique vibe about her.
Whatever the reason may be, every time she steps into that classroom, you can't help but notice. Boys, that's your focus girl right there, because I'll be damned if you're not focused on her for the duration of the semester.
Honestly, if I think back to the various Intro to B.S. classes I took my first year, I can still remember my focus girl in each course. I'm sure that my old Linguistics professor loves the fact that, instead of dipthongs and voiced fricatives, all I remember from that class is the blonde girl in the red jacket.
(And I know I'm not alone on this one. Find me one guy who's never picked out a focus girl, and I'll find you a Bette Midler fan.)
It's funny, because having a focus girl borders on pseudo-stalking: You notice where she usually sits, what she wears, if she ever dozes off mid-lecture, et cetera. But what separates you from the jilted ex-boyfriend ("So ... does she ever talk about me?") is that girl focusing is a purely recreational activity, like bird watching or admiring a fine piece of art. A fine, short-skirted piece of art.
But God forbid you should ever talk to your focus girl! No, keeping tabs on her from across the lecture hall is like following the Detroit Lions: You're not fan enough to actually go out to the ballpark, but you never fail to check out the box scores on Monday morning.
If you're anything like me, finding a focus girl to call your own serves as better motivation to attend class than any kind of pop quiz threat. Actually, it's the best motivation. No matter how tired you are when your clock radio blares in the morning, there's always the pleasant thought of seeing your focus girl to get you out of bed.
In fact, I bet if you conducted a study of classroom attendance in different concentrations, you'd find that Psychology, notorious for its high percentage of perky sweaters and hip-hugging black pants, has the most "dedicated" male students on campus. And take it from me, the English department isn't far behind (let's just say that Jane Austen isn't the only woman worth studying).
Ah, but before I inspire a flurry of angry, feminist e-mails (read: "femails") accusing me of objectifying women, let me just turn the tables on any would-be critics.
Ladies, I know how you work it. Right now, even as you feign disgust at the idea of being someone's focus girl, there's a guy across the classroom whom you've been checking out since day one. You noticed when he got his hair cut shorter, you keep waiting for him to sport that black turtleneck again and you once giggled and whispered to your friend, "He's wearing argyle socks!"
He's your focus boy and you know it.
Oh, you girls play the same wicked game as us guys. You scope out the lecture hall just like us, and it's not fire exits that you're searching for. Once you've set your sights on a focus boy, you come up with the same kind of nickname, too. For every Indie Rock Girl or Leather Boots Girl, there's a Sensitive Poet Boy or Jordan Catallano Boy.
So with all of this cross-lecture gazing going on, you have to imagine that all of us, at some point or another, have probably been focused upon. That means when I make eye contact with Hipster Glasses Girl, she very well could be looking at Redheaded Boy.
Or just a redheaded boy."
so... can u relate? i can... ok, i better hide now ...
